Cartman has been absent for school for some time, and the boys go to his house to find out what's wrong. Cartman has become depressed about not having a father. Cartman confronts his Mother about it, and she says that he was conceived at the 12th Annual Drunken Barn Dance. ...

Mr. Garrison takes his class on an archaeological dig for arrowheads. Cartman finds a mysterious triangle and the kids get on TV about this important discovery, which captures the attention of Leonard Maltin. He comes to South Park to warn about Barbra Streisand's desire to get the triangle. Barbra Streisand ...

Mr. Garrison decides to get a nose job. On the day of his operation, he gets Ms. Ellen to substitute for him. After the operation is complete, he discovers that he can have his dream career: hanging out and screwing hot chicks. Now Ms. Ellen is the new teacher, but ...

Eric is handing out invitations to his birthday party at school. Mr. Garrison informs them all that there is a new student joining the class. Announcing to all that he is Damien, the son of Satan. Even as Damien demonstrates his demonic powers the children are more loathsome than impressed

Kyle's mother complains that the Christmas play is favoring Christianity and not catering to people of other religions. Mean while Kyle is visited by Mr. Hankey the Christmas poo who only appears to Kyle. The complaints about the play continue, and all religious elements are removed from the play. Kyle ...

The boys see a commercial with Sally Struthers about adopting Ethiopian children, and getting a sports watch. Instead of getting the watch, an actual Ethiopian child is sent to South Park. When the charity comes to pick up Starvin' Marvin at Cartman's house, they take Cartman instead. In South Park, ...

The first Halloween episode starts off with the failure of the Mir Space Station, which crashes right on Kenny. An ambulance comes and takes his body off to the morgue. The boys start to brag about their Halloween costumes. At the morgue, a freak accident involving a bottle of Worcestershire ...

Stan's Grandpa turns 102, and all he wants for his birthday is Stan to kill him. While Kyle is watching Terrance and Phillip, his mother becomes enraged, and calls everybody's parents. Now nobody can watch the show anymore, and the parents organize a movement to end the show. The parents ...

Kyle gets an elephant, but his parents won't let him keep it because it is too big. Mr. Garrison gives a lecture on genetic engineering, which gives Kyle the idea of making a pot-bellied elephant by splicing the genes of his elephant with a pot bellied pig. Terrence bets that ...

Stan has a new dog, Sparky (voiced by George Clooney), that is different from other dogs. He is homosexual. This troubles Stan, who has to concentrate on quarterbacking the South Park Elementary football team against Middle Park. Stan could be key in beating the 70 point spread against them. Sparky, ...